Zekrayaat (ذكرايات / Memories)

The word "Potential" is probably one of the most widely used terms I have encountered personally and professionally throughout my life. I remember as early as 2nd grade, my uncle (who is was also a PE teacher at my elementary school), advising me that I must "live up to my potential". I recall feeling a hit puzzled by the very concept. It sounded like a "promise" by a well trusted friend or a prophecy by a gypsy looking into a magic ball to foretell the future. I liked it, I feared it, and I certainly took it very seriously. As I went through life I became aware of other uses of this mystical word; use cases implying "consolatory and polite deferment of judgement"; "well, he is not very good at this, but has the potential to learn and improve". I recall during my first physics class in school, my teacher talking about "Potential Energy" as this tremendous reservoir of energy that objects automagically posses during eac...

"We are our dreams", someone said that to me 25 years ago.... As the years passed, and I grew older, I understood how true that phrase is. Today I was once again reminded of that by the life of two of my favorite women in the whole wide world; my wife Mary, and my sister Mona. Today, my sister got her results from college, and she is now one year away from graduating. This was a dream she put off for 25 years, and finally is about to see it come to reality.  Today, FaceBook reminded Mary that she started graduate school (Master of Social Work), another great woman with great dream that eluded her for decades, but never gave up on it; She graduated couple of years ago with honors. She went further and obtained an advanced degree in Adduction Treatment. I could not be more proud to be called Mary's Husband and Mona's brother, two great dreamers.

"Our past never passes", it never ends, it is always here, lurking in the background waiting to reappear. I remember the first time I came to realize that and articulate it... it was terrifying yet reassuring at the same time. We are our past, stretched beyond certain moments… all the way to Eternity. I can go on and on (and probably will), but the past 48 hrs I experienced yet another profound realization (at least felt profound to me)… I found myself remembering my father, the root of all my past. All of a sudden, a flooding wave of memories, thoughts and feelings. I could see it, smell it, hear it, touch it... Don’t worry I am not hallucinating or suffering from a sudden manic attack (as you know the therapist in the clinical social worker keeps me honest and keenly aware)…  It was just that sort of remembrance, the one that you never forget. Of course  soon enough, I started "rationalizing" that as a side effect  to an overdose of the subliminal...

Throughout time Man's quest has been trying to make sense of it all. Whether its Nature, Birth, Sickness or even an eye twitch. We as humans are driven from within with an innate need to connect the dots. To find a meaning to everything. To find a rationale that explains it all, a Grand theory that explains all things. At times our urge was so strong and lead us to some of the greatest discoveries, and most of the time it did not. Many of us grew up learning that the virtue of asking "WHY" is far more important than asking "WHAT". Its almost like we assumed no significance to knowing things if we only could know Why they are what they are . As children, we were taught to ask questions. It was claimed to be a sign of intelligence. Smart Kids ASK QUESTIONS, and then in turn, ANSWER them. Or as one of my childhood teacher said, only those who know some, know that there is more to ask about. So, WHY do people fear connecting with others, yet crave it? WHY is math so...

It all happened 15 years ago. I had a roommate, Mr X (as you must have guessed , this is not his real name). He was one of those souls you meet once in a lifetime. Escaped Iraq after Saddam killed his family in the Kurd massacre. Hitch hiked all the way to Iran, Pakistan, and finally India. For someone who went through so much shit in his life, he struck me as positive. OK lets fast forward... He had a little habit of LSD. I thought it was OK for someone who faced so much trauma in his reality to choose another one, even if for couple of hours. One night after he did a rather large dose of LSD, I found him standing in the balcony in his underwear (he was not the type that would do that without little help from LSD). let me give you a visual... A slightly dark skinned man, 6 feet tall, has a curly black hair, a thinly trimmed beard, standing tall, his arms are stretched forming a cross with his body. It was a moment worth a Biblical reference. I called his name, but he did not turn arou...

In a World of No Gravity... Jumping off a Cliff is Entertaining.

In a World of No Gravity... Taking of your clothes does not make you lighter.