Zekrayaat (ذكرايات / Memories)

We arrive to this world with an Aasel, a Paintbrush and a Vision. Then we go through life trying to figure out what to do with the Aasel and the Brush, what should we paint? At times the vision is so clear and vivid in our mind and the imagery flows through the brush creating a masterpiece. We stare in disbelief. Is it the brush that holds the magic? Or it is the canvas that had the image hidden within it all this while, and we merely brushed the dust? And sometimes we draw a simple line.

"How do I take charge of my destiny?" I asked. "Do you know how to fly a Kite?" He asked smiling. "I get a kite, I take it to an open space, look for the wind direction, hold its string and GO…" I answered hurriedly. "You mean LET GO!" he exclaimed. "You have to Let GO, then only would the Kite take off", he continued. "Of course once in a while you tug on the string to check on the Kite, but not too hard and not for too long", he proceeded explaining. "In order for your destiny to take you where you are meant to go, you must Let GO, just like a Kite", he concluded.

Throughout time Man's quest has been trying to make sense of it all. Whether its Nature, Birth, Sickness or even an eye twitch. We as humans are driven from within with an innate need to connect the dots. To find a meaning to everything. To find a rationale that explains it all, a Grand theory that explains all things. At times our urge was so strong and lead us to some of the greatest discoveries, and most of the time it did not. Many of us grew up learning that the virtue of asking "WHY" is far more important than asking "WHAT". Its almost like we assumed no significance to knowing things if we only could know Why they are what they are . As children, we were taught to ask questions. It was claimed to be a sign of intelligence. Smart Kids ASK QUESTIONS, and then in turn, ANSWER them. Or as one of my childhood teacher said, only those who know some, know that there is more to ask about. So, WHY do people fear connecting with others, yet crave it? WHY is math so

It all happened 15 years ago. I had a roommate, Mr X (as you must have guessed , this is not his real name). He was one of those souls you meet once in a lifetime. Escaped Iraq after Saddam killed his family in the Kurd massacre. Hitch hiked all the way to Iran, Pakistan, and finally India. For someone who went through so much shit in his life, he struck me as positive. OK lets fast forward... He had a little habit of LSD. I thought it was OK for someone who faced so much trauma in his reality to choose another one, even if for couple of hours. One night after he did a rather large dose of LSD, I found him standing in the balcony in his underwear (he was not the type that would do that without little help from LSD). let me give you a visual... A slightly dark skinned man, 6 feet tall, has a curly black hair, a thinly trimmed beard, standing tall, his arms are stretched forming a cross with his body. It was a moment worth a Biblical reference. I called his name, but he did not turn arou